Boyfriend in Boot Camp: Phase I & What I've Learned So Far

The past week, my boyfriend officially started Phase II of his time at boot camp. He’s been gone for almost 7 long weeks and we’re almost halfway done with this journey.

I’ve learned a lot about myself the last few weeks – how I manage stress, how much you can love someone, and how to connect with those going through a similar journey.

Not all of our stories are the same, we’re different people who handle life differently. Either way, we’re at the start of our military relationships (while our SOs aren’t on the front lines, we start somewhere and the beginning makes us stronger for what’s coming).

I’m writing this for those of you whose SOs just left for boot camp, who are just starting this journey and feel low because the one person who you leaned on for support can’t be here right now. Read below for some FAQs:

1 – How many letters have I received?

I’ve received 5 so far. My boyfriend is guide, so my assumption is that he’s pretty busy and writes me once a week. Other women I’ve talked to have gotten up to 9 at this point! Just remember that your recruit is busy and won’t always have time to write, but they’re always reading what you write them.

2 – How often have I received letters?

The pattern has been once a week, typically on a Friday. My first letter came on the Monday of Week 2 (not including receiving), 3 weeks after he shipped out. I received 2 more later that week on a Friday. After that, I’ve received one letter per week so far. As of now, I haven't gotten any from this last week, but yesterday, I did get a PHONE CALL! If you want to know how that happened, feel free to leave a comment or email me!

3 – What does it feel like to wait for a letter?

Honestly? It’s a lot of anxiety. You start to doubt yourself, you start to doubt that your recruit is thinking of you, and you start to wonder if the postal system is reliable. When I receive letters, I feel such joy and so strong. I feel ready to take on the world! Towards the end of the week, I felt so worried and stressed (I mean, I also had finals). The best thing you can do for yourself is to think positive. Trust that your recruit thinks of you and misses you!

4 – What’s been the hardest part of my recruit being gone?

I really just miss him. It genuinely feels like a part of me isn’t there, but the missing piece doesn’t seem so prominent anymore. I’ve been keeping busy and working on myself because it’s the perfect time to reflect on life and see what you can do to better yourself. Even though I always hold him close to my heart, I also surround myself with positivity and support – thank you to the people who are unconditionally supportive and love me.

It's okay to miss him!

5 – Where can I find more support?

Let’s be real, not many people know what you’re going through (at least not where I’m from because I live in a big city). There are actually Facebook pages that you can join for the specific company your recruit is in. I’ve found a wonderful group of ladies that support me, and I support them. I feel like I’ve truly found friends. You can also email me and connect (coffeecreamcollege@gmail.com) if you ever have any questions, just want to chat, or feel sad! I get it, and while I’m not always happy, I will always support another friend. Shoutout to Brooke for always being down to talk to me, and keeping me uplifted! She and her recruit are adorable!

Getting to know Brooke has gotten me through my really down days. Thanks girl, you're the best. You and Al are adorable!

6 – What do I do to keep busy?

My favorite ways to keep busy has been to write. Writing is a creative outlet for me to express how I'm doing, whether it's through sharing photos from fashion shoots or writing about my life experiences. I've been working out, too! Endorphins are good, and I keep myself motivated because I've made working out a competition (since my boyfriend is getting super fit). Seeing friends is also a really fantastic way to get your mind away from missing your recruit. This week, I've celebrated birthdays, grabbed dinner, and just called some friends who listen to me, and empathize with me. It's hard to keep busy, and you should let yourself process what's been happening the best way you know how. However, doing things helps time go by faster, you have something to write to your recruit about, and your recruit will be happy knowing you're doing things to make you happier!

Photoshoots with friends keep me occupied!

Do you have any more questions? Leave a comment below or email me! coffeecreamcollege@gmail.com