How I Planned a Wedding WITHOUT a Wedding Planner
So about a month and a half ago, on June 26, I finally married the absolute love of my life (in the middle of the PNW’s insane heatwave/ heat dome situation). Even though the day was absolutely scorching, the day went on (mostly) as planned and I’d say it was pretty successful!
All these bridal websites will tell you to get a wedding planner or coordinator for at least day-of coordination. And that’s great! But what if you can’t afford one? What if you've got a smaller budget? And if you’re me, what if you’re one of the first of your friends to get married so you don't know what you're doing but don't want to splurge on a planner?
Quick note: if you can afford a wedding planner, get one. I know, I know. This whole blog is about how I planned a wedding without a planner, but there’s a reason wedding planners are so popular! It’s because they relieve you of so much stress. You’ll be making a million decisions--they can take care of what needs to get done once your decision is made. Anyways… back to our main point.
If you go online (e.g. r/WeddingsUnder10K), you’ll find that lots of people have affordable weddings because so and so loaned them a venue or their family has a lake house and their aunt is a world-class baker gifting them a beautiful wedding cake. I’ll be 100% honest and say that I did get some help for my wedding, but for the most part, my husband and I managed on our own. Was it easy? No, not really. But did we have an amazing wedding day? Yes!
So how’d we do it WITHOUT a professional wedding planner? Without much wedding planning experience? Keep reading!
Will you find everything on Google? Probably not. I’d say the most difficult thing to find online is venue pricing, so that’ll require some leg work of calling and emailing various places for quotes. One of your biggest expenses will be your venue and food, so make sure to do a ton of research, then book those two things first!
We found our venue because my parents had their vow renewal there and mentioned it was a relatively affordable venue, but some other places to consider? Public parks, greenhouses, Airbnbs, national parks--think of places that hold other types of events like family reunions or work conferences, too!
You can find example budgets online, too. Oftentimes, you don’t realize all the little details like cost of decor or hotel/accommodations or extra snacks for the day-of! As you set your budget, make sure you’ve got wiggle room to go UP because more than likely, you’ll decide to increase your budget on certain aspects of the wedding.
So how do you keep track of your budget?
When you create your spreadsheet, have two columns--one that sets your desired budget and one that shows what you’ve actually spent on that item (send me an email or Instagram DM if you’ve got questions on excel functions!). Having those numbers side-by-side helps you stay on track with what you’ve already spent (example below).
In my spreadsheet, I also separated my line items by category like wedding attire (dress, bridal shoes, tux, groom shoes, jewelry, etc.) or media (photography, videography, prints, etc.). I’ll say it again: Google is your best friend. There are tons and tons of online templates for you to borrow and customize for your needs!
My biggest thing was saving all my dineros because weddings can get stupidly expensive. Again, I know not everyone is in the same boat, but for about a year, my now-husband and I moved in with my parents so we could save money on rent (shoutout to mom and dad for being the best parents ever). Each paycheck, we contributed a set amount--it came out of our paychecks AFTER bills were paid and the remaining money was for our other, more ‘fun’ expenses.
A tip to save: always, always, always take care of bills first and savings afterwards. We’ve also got spreadsheets for our monthly bills, then we make sure to put money into our savings accounts.
So now that we’ve talked about saving money, let’s talk deadlines + to-dos. There are tons of different ways to keep track of your to-do list. I used The Knot because their site had a ton of things already done for me (like a to-do list you can customize). I booked my venue about a year and a half in advance, then set out to look for my other vendors like photography and videography (as The Knot had suggested). While I did all of this, my then-fiance/now-husband and I talked about what aspects of our wedding were most important. We decided on food and photography!
A majority of our vendors were booked one year in advance.
I still DIY’d a ton of things (and again, Google is your bff here), including centerpieces and signage! I waited for sales and bought faux florals from Michael’s or Joane’s. I created my own toss bouquet. We re-used the bridesmaids bouquets as centerpiece florals. We bought a template off Etsy to make signs. I also found Etsy shops that sold bouquets and ordered faux ones instead of fresh!
DIY-ing can be intimidating, but again, you can do it! YouTube is also an amazing resource if you need some additional help (my husband watched a YouTube video and built me an arch!).
Oftentimes, brides do have a vision for their wedding, but sometimes, you might have to sacrifice some aspects due to budget. Honestly, I wanted all the real florals--a walkway of petals, fresh white roses on all the tables, floral decor on my arch, floating candles with petals, etc. But it didn’t fit in my budget and that’s okay.
As I like to say: if someone is complaining about your centerpiece, then something else must be wrong. Think about it--is the centerpiece the most important part of the day? Will you really remember the exact floral arrangement? Why is the guest focused on the centerpiece and not your dress or the first dance or the food? Does that guest's opinion on centerpieces really matter? Of all the aspects of your wedding, your loved ones will remember you and your love more than what flower you used.
No one’s wedding day goes exactly as planned, no matter how well-prepared you are. Things that went wrong at mine? I had to restart my makeup because it didn’t look good. I forgot my shoes and spandex at the hotel. A few folks were late for photos. It was 100+ degrees outside. Some centerpiece elements were missing. My donut prize was accidentally set out with other desserts. And there was more!
I still wouldn’t change my day (with the exception of that heat dome so let’s do our part to help reverse climate change). Things happened the way they were supposed to and I still got to marry the love of my life.
The moments that stick with me are all our happy moments like exchanging vows and our first look. Those moments stick with you so much more and overshadow any other things that didn’t go quite perfectly.
On your big day, take a deep breath, exhale, and be excited that at the end of that day, you get to marry your person and start the next chapter of your lives together!
Have any more wedding planning questions? Let me know in the comments below or on Instagram @officialjoybartolome
All these bridal websites will tell you to get a wedding planner or coordinator for at least day-of coordination. And that’s great! But what if you can’t afford one? What if you've got a smaller budget? And if you’re me, what if you’re one of the first of your friends to get married so you don't know what you're doing but don't want to splurge on a planner?
Quick note: if you can afford a wedding planner, get one. I know, I know. This whole blog is about how I planned a wedding without a planner, but there’s a reason wedding planners are so popular! It’s because they relieve you of so much stress. You’ll be making a million decisions--they can take care of what needs to get done once your decision is made. Anyways… back to our main point.
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| Portrait by Genelyn Jaye Photography |
If you go online (e.g. r/WeddingsUnder10K), you’ll find that lots of people have affordable weddings because so and so loaned them a venue or their family has a lake house and their aunt is a world-class baker gifting them a beautiful wedding cake. I’ll be 100% honest and say that I did get some help for my wedding, but for the most part, my husband and I managed on our own. Was it easy? No, not really. But did we have an amazing wedding day? Yes!
So how’d we do it WITHOUT a professional wedding planner? Without much wedding planning experience? Keep reading!
Google is your BFF
Y’all, Google really is your best friend. I googled pretty much everything from “affordable venues near me” to “what’s in a non-denominational wedding ceremony?” to “wedding day timeline templates.” There are so many blogs out there that offer free content to help guide your planning (kind of like this post *cough cough*).Will you find everything on Google? Probably not. I’d say the most difficult thing to find online is venue pricing, so that’ll require some leg work of calling and emailing various places for quotes. One of your biggest expenses will be your venue and food, so make sure to do a ton of research, then book those two things first!
We found our venue because my parents had their vow renewal there and mentioned it was a relatively affordable venue, but some other places to consider? Public parks, greenhouses, Airbnbs, national parks--think of places that hold other types of events like family reunions or work conferences, too!
Spreadsheets + Budgeting
Some parts of wedding planning are an absolute blast, like tasting cakes! But some are a little less glamorous--like setting your budget. Before we booked our venue, we sat down and created a budget for how much we wanted to spend on certain things. Then we discussed a savings plan as well as if we could get any help from our families (we were very fortunate for the help we did receive!).You can find example budgets online, too. Oftentimes, you don’t realize all the little details like cost of decor or hotel/accommodations or extra snacks for the day-of! As you set your budget, make sure you’ve got wiggle room to go UP because more than likely, you’ll decide to increase your budget on certain aspects of the wedding.
So how do you keep track of your budget?
When you create your spreadsheet, have two columns--one that sets your desired budget and one that shows what you’ve actually spent on that item (send me an email or Instagram DM if you’ve got questions on excel functions!). Having those numbers side-by-side helps you stay on track with what you’ve already spent (example below).
In my spreadsheet, I also separated my line items by category like wedding attire (dress, bridal shoes, tux, groom shoes, jewelry, etc.) or media (photography, videography, prints, etc.). I’ll say it again: Google is your best friend. There are tons and tons of online templates for you to borrow and customize for your needs!
Give yourself lots of time
Time is of the essence. Some of you want to get married in a year or maybe less, and that’s fine! When I say give yourself time, just make sure you’re carving out time to actually plan your wedding, set deadlines, and SAVE MONEY.My biggest thing was saving all my dineros because weddings can get stupidly expensive. Again, I know not everyone is in the same boat, but for about a year, my now-husband and I moved in with my parents so we could save money on rent (shoutout to mom and dad for being the best parents ever). Each paycheck, we contributed a set amount--it came out of our paychecks AFTER bills were paid and the remaining money was for our other, more ‘fun’ expenses.
A tip to save: always, always, always take care of bills first and savings afterwards. We’ve also got spreadsheets for our monthly bills, then we make sure to put money into our savings accounts.
So now that we’ve talked about saving money, let’s talk deadlines + to-dos. There are tons of different ways to keep track of your to-do list. I used The Knot because their site had a ton of things already done for me (like a to-do list you can customize). I booked my venue about a year and a half in advance, then set out to look for my other vendors like photography and videography (as The Knot had suggested). While I did all of this, my then-fiance/now-husband and I talked about what aspects of our wedding were most important. We decided on food and photography!
A majority of our vendors were booked one year in advance.
DIY-ing
You’re probably thinking “wow, what an obvious tip, but I’m not crafty AT ALL.” And yeah, it’s an obvious tip BUT IT IS A GOOD ONE. Lemme tell you, I’m not crafty at all. I can’t paint or draw, and my handwriting is atrocious.I still DIY’d a ton of things (and again, Google is your bff here), including centerpieces and signage! I waited for sales and bought faux florals from Michael’s or Joane’s. I created my own toss bouquet. We re-used the bridesmaids bouquets as centerpiece florals. We bought a template off Etsy to make signs. I also found Etsy shops that sold bouquets and ordered faux ones instead of fresh!
DIY-ing can be intimidating, but again, you can do it! YouTube is also an amazing resource if you need some additional help (my husband watched a YouTube video and built me an arch!).
Oftentimes, brides do have a vision for their wedding, but sometimes, you might have to sacrifice some aspects due to budget. Honestly, I wanted all the real florals--a walkway of petals, fresh white roses on all the tables, floral decor on my arch, floating candles with petals, etc. But it didn’t fit in my budget and that’s okay.
As I like to say: if someone is complaining about your centerpiece, then something else must be wrong. Think about it--is the centerpiece the most important part of the day? Will you really remember the exact floral arrangement? Why is the guest focused on the centerpiece and not your dress or the first dance or the food? Does that guest's opinion on centerpieces really matter? Of all the aspects of your wedding, your loved ones will remember you and your love more than what flower you used.
 |
| Makeup by Me! |
Don't forget, doing your own makeup counts as DIY! Some artists will have a minimum (e.g. $2,000) for makeup for you and all your bridal party, but that'll only include up to 6 additional people. Other artists will charge an hourly rate for just you, or they might charge you a set fee which can still be $200 for an experienced artist.
Makeup can be hard, but again, that's what YouTube is for! Check out Hindash for some really great tips and also Robert Welsh. Both are professional makeup artists with tons of great content to help you improve your makeup skills!
BUT… they need to be in the loop so that brings me to my next point below…
Stay organized. I feel like this piece of advice is also pretty self-explanatory, but it’s so so important.
I had an entire Google drive folder dedicated to my wedding that contained all the spreadsheets from guest lists to week-of timelines to day-of timelines to song lists. Use an organization tool that works for you and your partner, and make sure they’ve got access.
This Google folder was shared with our parents, bridal party, and vendors. Our bridal party could look at my week-of timeline and see tasks they were assigned, look at the day-of timeline to know where they needed to be and when, and I even included pictures of centerpieces so the decorating team would have visual examples of what the tables should look like!
If online doesn’t work for you, try getting a wedding planning notebook or binder! Some of them have sections for creating guest lists, seating charts, venue blueprints, and even registry items.
Ask For Help!
Your loved ones are there for you--ask for help! They don’t need to be your wedding planner, but they can help with decorating the venue, putting together centerpieces, creating signage, picking up extra snacks, etc.BUT… they need to be in the loop so that brings me to my next point below…
Organization is KEY
Stay organized. I feel like this piece of advice is also pretty self-explanatory, but it’s so so important.
I had an entire Google drive folder dedicated to my wedding that contained all the spreadsheets from guest lists to week-of timelines to day-of timelines to song lists. Use an organization tool that works for you and your partner, and make sure they’ve got access.
This Google folder was shared with our parents, bridal party, and vendors. Our bridal party could look at my week-of timeline and see tasks they were assigned, look at the day-of timeline to know where they needed to be and when, and I even included pictures of centerpieces so the decorating team would have visual examples of what the tables should look like!
If online doesn’t work for you, try getting a wedding planning notebook or binder! Some of them have sections for creating guest lists, seating charts, venue blueprints, and even registry items.
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| A DIY'd sign, courtesy of one of my bridesmaids |
Trust Others
As the bride, I knew I couldn’t be there the morning-of to decorate (if your venue allows, try to decorate the day before). I needed to trust I did my due diligence to prepare our loved ones to set up and know our timelines like the back of their hands.
Will things be missed? Probably. Nonetheless, don’t let it stress you out and do not take it out on them! Your loved ones are doing the best they can and there’s no need to stress about the little things once wedding day comes.
Will things be missed? Probably. Nonetheless, don’t let it stress you out and do not take it out on them! Your loved ones are doing the best they can and there’s no need to stress about the little things once wedding day comes.
Our Wedding Day Wasn’t Perfect
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| You don't need an expensive cake! This one is the Chantilly Cake from Cakes of Paradise. It was delicious. |
I still wouldn’t change my day (with the exception of that heat dome so let’s do our part to help reverse climate change). Things happened the way they were supposed to and I still got to marry the love of my life.
The moments that stick with me are all our happy moments like exchanging vows and our first look. Those moments stick with you so much more and overshadow any other things that didn’t go quite perfectly.
On your big day, take a deep breath, exhale, and be excited that at the end of that day, you get to marry your person and start the next chapter of your lives together!
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