What I've Learned in a Long Distance Relationship

Long distance relationships are hard, and they really test your strength. There are days you cry yourself to sleep because you miss them, you don’t feel as complete without them, and you realize start to realize just how much you can love someone. 

I’m in a long distance relationship (LDR) and have been since November 6, 2017 when my boyfriend left for the Marine Corp Recruit Depot (MCRD) in San Diego. I got him from February 2, 2018 to February 13, 2018 and now I’m right back to more silence than I’d like.

You learn a lot by being physically alone. Keep reading below!

1 – You’ll always miss your SO 

WOW did I miss him. I cried so much when he left, especially because I couldn’t talk to him. I could only write him letters. It isn’t that you won’t be happy, you just feel a bit less happy than when they’re around because they know how to make you smile.

2 – Your identity doesn’t & shouldn't center around your relationship 

At first, I felt like I was learning how to be myself without him. I realized, though, that I’m still me. I still have things I need to do, I still have dreams and aspirations, and I still want to be a productive human being. Enjoy the independence and find who you are apart from your SO.

3 – Find comfortability in the silence 

Not getting to talk to my SO every night was weird. I no longer knew what to do with my nights because I was so used to saying “Good night, baby. I love you!” Here I am now, falling asleep to silence. Be comfortable with that. Be okay with the independence and limited communication because you have your own lives and your own schedules. 

Photo Credit: Genelyn Jaye Photography

4 – Be understanding 

My boyfriend couldn’t write me every day and it took a long time for me to be okay with that. Now that he’s at combat training, I have to be understanding that even when he has weekend liberty, I won’t get to talk to him for the entirety of the hour. His family is still important and he should be talking to them. He wants to go on YouTube and Facebook. He wants to use his phone for something other than talking to me. He wants to eat and hang out with his other friends. Be understanding that there are only 24 hours in a day, words get lost in translation (i.e. texting can cause many issues), and they want to do other things. Let them and be okay with that!

5 – Thank God for technology

Seriously, thank God. Yes, it makes us less patient, but the process of waiting for a response (and being understanding) forces you to grow in the virtue of patience. I love that technology has given us the opportunity to get in contact with people we love in real time! 

Poor quality, but FaceTime is wonderful.

I miss my boyfriend every day, but I still live my life without him. I don’t get to put my responsibilities away just because I miss him and don’t want to function without him. I can function without him, life moves forward, and he’s one part of a very bright future. Long distance sucks, but it would suck even more if I wasn’t with him.

Wanna know more? Follow me on Instagram! @officialjoybartolome