My Boyfriend Went to Marine Boot Camp

It’s currently 11:13 PM on November 8th, 2017 as I write this post. I wasn’t sure exactly what I wanted my first official post to be on, but I’ve decided to write about something close to my heart, especially now.



Two days ago, my boyfriend left for the Marine Corps Recruit Depot in San Diego, California. He’ll be there for 13 weeks, no phone calls, no texts, just letters. Let’s talk about my experience.

Last May/June (I really don’t remember), my boyfriend told me he wanted to join the military, specifically the Marine Corps. I remember when we were dating in high school, the subject had come up before, but he never did anything about it. Quick story: the first time he said “I love you” was on the phone when he told me he was thinking about joining the military. It was 2014 and we had been dating maybe two and a half months at that point. I was crying because I didn’t know what I would do and I'd be sad if he left for so long. I think that’s the moment he realized “wow, this girl REALLY cares about me.” And I still do.

Homecoming 2014

Anyway, I digress. He officially enlisted back sometime in June and began the process of training. Every Monday and Thursday he went to PT (physical training) and worked out with other poolees. Eventually, he became guide (proud of you babe!) and led the work outs.

For me, I just tried to mentally prep myself for 3 months of no contact. I worked a lot, spent most of my time with him, asked him tons of questions about what would happen when he left and, the entirety of the process. We started to really talk about our long-term future after that, too. He told me that part of the reason he wanted to go through Marine Corp training was so that he could be a better man for me – and I know he’ll come back even more amazing than he already is. I know I'm only 21, but the goal is to marry this guy one day.

Photoshoot: @genelynjayephotography

None of the questions I asked, videos I watched, blogs I read, or mental preparation I did actually prepared me for the wave of emotion that came as my days with him were getting shorter. His last week before shipping out we spent a lot of time together – both on the phone and in person. I helped him get ready for his going away party, I called him endlessly, we went to the arcade, we grabbed dinner. All of these felt like lasts (they won’t be though!).

Sunday came and he was leaving for the recruiting office where he would be sent to a hotel to spend the night. I would get him for a few hours before he actually left Monday morning. I drove over and picked him up, we grabbed dinner with his parents, then spent some alone time. Wow did I have to hold back my tears. My chest stayed tight as we talked, my hands nervously fidgeting around the watch he gave me (an early Christmas gift), and smiling in front of his parents was extremely difficult. Before I said goodbye that Sunday night, I cried into his shirt so much that my waterproof mascara came off.

The next morning, I skipped class to see him off. I went to the MEPs in Seattle, waited in a room anxiously (again, crying) with his mom and her friend to watch him swear in. We took some pictures after the short ceremony and had to wait outside for a bit. He came out and talked to us, then I asked how long I could stay before he was leaving. He went to ask, came back, and right as he came back a man said, “All men shipping out to MCRD San Diego come with me!” I was so anxious and sad and just emotionally charged. The thing is, you don't want your boyfriend who's leaving for 3 months to think he's abandoning you. I tried to hold myself together until he turned around into the double doors on the other side of the room. Be strong and be brave because he's going to need your support and encouragement when he's at boot camp. He gave me a kiss, said “I love you,” kissed me again, said “I gotta go, I love you” and walked away.

That’s the last time I saw him.

All day, I couldn’t focus. My body was shaking, my tears kept coming, and all I could feel was this sort of emptiness. He really is my other half and it felt like I was missing that part of me. Let’s just say it was a really rough day.

I went home that night and just cried some more until I decided that I needed support from my friends. I called one of my old friends and we Facetimed for some time. She reassured me that I could do it, that I was strong, that time would go by. A lot of the time, this is the reassurance you really need. Find that support network and be open about how you feel and your capacities. Your loved ones (and even his) are there for you.

Luckily enough, in the middle of my call with her, a number from San Diego popped up. It was my boyfriend! He only had a minute before the Drill Instructors came in, but he wanted to call before the scripted call and tell me he made it safely.

“Hey, I just wanted to call and say I made it safely.”

“Wait, you aren’t yelling?”

“I managed to get a minute. I wanted to say I love you. The DI’s will be here soon so I have to go.”

“I love you babe. I’m really proud of you. I’ll be here waiting for you at the end of it, okay?”

“Thank you. I love you. Bye.”

That phone call was a minute long, but I’m so grateful that I got it. About an hour later is when I got the scripted phone call and all I could hear was screaming in the background. He said he made it there safely, not to send and food, I’ll get a letter, etc. He did manage to say “I love you” before hanging up (which I hope he didn’t get chewed out for). That was only 15 seconds.

Honestly, the 2nd day was a lot better. I still cried, I was still tired because I hadn’t slept, but reality was hitting me. I had a midterm coming up that I hadn’t prepped for, I had work, I had class, I had group projects. I couldn’t let others down because I was going through a hard time (even though they did understand). I still spent most of that day reading about the first few hours of boot camp, what was happening, doing research, finding his graduation date, etc. I had even called Fort Benning that morning to ask how long a specific job training was for his MOS later this year.

All this research is a coping mechanism for me. I have anxiety and don’t like to feel out of control. Even though I was out of control, I at least had some form of understanding of what my boyfriend was going through. The whole day I was worried about him and I still am. I know he’s getting yelled at and probably hasn’t slept in the last 3 days. His head is currently shaved and he’s probably nervous and scared.

Our last photo before he left

The thing I need to do right now is keep my head up. I’ve had to push out thoughts that my recruit would forget about me, that he wasn’t thinking of me, or that he’ll change to the point that he’s not the goofy guy I know. It’s a lot of self-evaluation, thinking about my rationale, and finding control in the things that I can.

For all the people whose SOs are currently in boot camp, know you’re not alone. I’m here with you and I’ll be writing about my experience as the weeks go by.

I’m struggling on day 3 of my boyfriend being gone, I still miss him a lot. However, I’ve also started to already feel better by keeping myself pretty busy. I studied for my midterm (fingers crossed I didn’t fail), I did some assignments, planned the coming weeks, and did a bit of retail therapy.

Tomorrow is one more day down of the 13 weeks my boyfriend will be gone. Tomorrow is one day down of your loved one away. Tomorrow will also be the day I pull myself up and become a better woman for him because that’s what he’s doing for me.

I know this post has been really messy and all over the place, but I hope that for anyone else who’s going through the same thing that this was somewhat helpful. Personally, it helped me a lot to recount the memories and vent out the last few days.

Stay positive - it will get easier!

Are you a military SO? What’s your experience like?